I have always enjoyed marathon types of activities. There is a theme through the Avon Descent, the Camino, swimming 20 lengths each week in the pool, 10 years working on one facility, that points to the fact I’m long distance, rather than a sprinter.
Looking at the graph above, given I’m just one month post-AHSCT, there is a long way to go yet. Where that end point is located ? Unknown and different for each person.
Right now, I feel mentally very clear (although how much of that is due to heaps of rest I don’t know), my walking and right arm weakness are better than a bad day, worse than a good day. That puts me as slightly better than the graph, however there is a long way to go.
This experience is emphasising the value of time, for me. Those 10 days in isolation, far from being an irritating and boring time, were peaceful, gentle and a time for reflection.
My task for the next months and years is to be patient, and accept that this recovery will be a long, slow process where the time scale is different for everyone.
Also, for me it will be important not to dwell in the memories of the activities I used to do. I may get back to white water kayaking, skiing and long distance hiking, or my end point may be halting of the progression of my MS.
To go back to a previous analogy, this is the downhill stretch of the mountain, and we can’t see the end of the path.
I love this picture Dali painted of his wife, Gala, for the visual beauty of the painting and her contemplative expression. Also, it now has me thinking about the various facets of a person, how each person is formed by their experiences, friends, background, health, job or lack thereof; all those different aspects that combine to make me the person I am, and you the person you are.
One thought on “The long haul”
You have used your time well Jen – the journey is a long one and somehow you have gained from these early steps no matter what lies before you.
I have a good deal of respect for you xx