Today is the first real day of my isolation. From now, I can’t leave this room, eat only the food they bring other than boiled sweets and chocolate, don’t open the windows.

They put me in white pyjamas, which I’ll get clean every day. I hadn’t expect that, for some reason I thought I could wear my own clothes. No reason, just thought so. Somehow being in hospital whites is far depersonalising than I’d expected. And getting a vodka body wash from a large Russian nurse is just not as fun as it might sound ! But my god am I clean !

I have to wait to see what the routine will be, but I suspect bloods at 630am as usual, doctor’s visit about 9am then 4pm, and nurses coming in to clean a couple of times a day.

I still have the books, the crochet, the music, the laptop, so nothing has changed really except … well ….I’m very white.

Last night was very strange. I had heard of steroid induced dreaming before, but my god it got me big time. Because I was so tired from the infusion I’d been sleeping all day, then the night was a multicoloured fragmentary nightmare collation of nightmare diseases, horror movies, trapped spaces, all in glorious blood hued technicolour. Maybe my subconscious knew calm white was awaiting me ? I cannot possibly put an image on that unless I can find some highly graphic Edward Munch ‘the scream’ /Anish Kapoor image mixture so I’m just not going to bother with the Anish Kapoor as much as I love some of them, some of them can give people nightmares ! Sleeping pills tonight and all will be happy.

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